Cerita Pendek: Orked, Sepatu Kaca dan Putera.

(untuk bacaan ringan sahaja)

“Orked, apa kau tak cinta lagi sama si Putera?” tanya Bonda Peri. “Bukan tak cinta, Ibu Peri. Cuma jauh hati saja. Kalau benar dia cinta sama ku, dia tidak akan mencari cinta seluruh negeri sebelum terjumpa aku dengan sepatu kaca itu” jawab Orked. Bonda Peri melihat Orked dengan penuh kasihan. Bukan dia tak kenal sikap Orked. Memang saja dia boleh bernyanyi riang ketika membuat kerja di rumah, tapi hatinya masih berduka. Nasib baiklah Orked jujur tiap kali Bonda Peri menanya tentang soal hatinya.

“Tapi Putera kan memang suka Orked dari mula lagi ketika bertemu di pesta” sambung Bonda Peri, cuba mempertahankan Putera. Bonda Peri cuba meleraikan sangsi Orked. Perempuan kan mudah cemburu. “Aku tahu, Ibu Peri. Aku lihat pada matanya ketika kami bertemu di pesta itu. Dan juga pada setiap ketika dia datang melawat ku, dia tidak pernah menjauhkan dirinya dari ku biarpun dia tahu siapa aku, Ibu Peri. Aku kan cuma rakyat marhaen”, kata Orked. Bonda Peri terdiam seketika. Atas sebab itu lah Bonda Peri beria ingin Orked pergi ke majlis tari-menari itu. Bonda Peri mahu Orked mendapat segala benda terbaik kerana dia kenal hati budi Orked. “Kenapa kau kata begitu, Orked? Bonda Peri pasti dia tidak pernah melihat darjat dalam cinta” kata-kata Bonda Peri memecah kesunyian.

“Oh Ibu Peri, apa bila aku datang ke majlis itu dengan baju mewah dan sepatu kaca seperti orang kelas atasan, bukan kah dia begitu tertarik dengan ku? Kami menari sepanjang malam tanpa menghiraukan orang lain di sekeliling kami. Dan pada ketika itu aku tahu dia tidak ingat pada Orked yang dia kata dia cinta, tapi matanya sudah tertarik pada yang lain. Sebab itu aku lari, Ibu” ujar Orked. “Bukan kerana jam sudah pukul dua belas malam?” seloroh Bonda Peri. “Ya, itu juga. Itu kan peraturan yang Ibu Peri kasi. Pada ketika aku lari meninggalkan dia, hati ku makin kuat mengatakan bahawa cinta Putera kepada ku bukan lah yang benar” kata Orked sayu. “Kalau betul lah dia cinta padaku, Ibu Peri, hati dia akan terdetik bahawa yang menari dengan dia itu adalah aku. Tidak perlulah dia mencari gadis bersepatu kaca seluruh negeri” kata Orked dengan perlahan lalu menuju ke tepi balkoni dan memandang bulan. Perlahan dia mengesat air matanya yang jatuh itu. Bonda Peri segera memeluk Orked.

Don’t ask.

“Bila nak balik kampung? ” – soalan common. Sometimes I feel so guilty to answer when -sebab rasa terpaksa berbohong dan I don’t like dishonesty.

Saya merajuk dengan hidup. So cliche at some point and hypocrite too. I’m struggling to live well and to comfort myself that every thing will be fine.

As struggling as I am (not that I’m saying other people don’t struggle too), I am bit upset when people ask me to be in their shoes and be on their side when I don’t feel like it. Boleh tak jadi pagar? I don’t want to side any party and I just want to live a slow pace of life and remain in my most-introverted world and its social anxiety problems.

I just want to be alone and curl up on my bed.

Jangan tanya bila nak balik kampung. 

Teman Sang Matahari, hari panjang.

Had a long day today. God knows why and how. A lot of questions kept on popping in my mind. I wish I have the answers, but I don’t. However, I promise myself that I won’t let go of opportunities that I like, lets say I want it to be win-win situation.

Kala langit kemerahan tanda senja

Aku pandang langit bersahaja

Bibirku meniti banyak kata

yang berjalan dengan perlahan

Biar aku sendiri hingga aku mampu

melangkah jauh lagi.

Flattered.

He stared at her for a long time. Every inch of the perimeter of her face, her quirk smiles and her giggles, he looked at it all. She looked at him, noticing the stare. He ran his eyes somewhere else.

He took a deep breathe and said prayers silently under his breathe. He walked towards her and he knew that was a huge step for him. He felt the sudden bravery and kept on walking. “You look a bit different today” he said to her. “Really? No, I don’t”, she said. She looked away, feeling flattered.

Naivety.

And after all things shattered

out of thousands reasons

I put it on me

solely on me.

Foolishness has no gender

when it comes to love

the sweetness smell of the garden

nor the brightness of the full moon

everything seems sound and fine.

Forgive me for my naivety

As time passes by

I keep on doubting myself

for the good things that come to me

I feel so unworthy.

Out of those regrets

that eating me out

I keep on staring on the moon

thanking the Universe

for you.

Thank you and forgive me.

It ended well.

Well, my two years of teaching fellowship have ended. It ended well, with some(or lots) tears of course. It did feel fast.

The last day of school was a pain for me. Kids crying, kids hugging, kids saying stuffs, kids persuading, kids asking questions, kids wishing good things. It was heart-breaking for me on that day because seriously, I love each one of them with all my heart.

Life does not end there. Life is a journey. I need to keep walking till the end to see what’s there for me. A chapter is closed. Now I need to write a new chapter. I wish all my kids the good things in life. May they do not stop dreaming and doing.