This month is a month of struggles and frustrations – financially, mentally, and physically.
Financially – I need to pay my road tax and insurance this month. And with a teacher’s salary, far from home and with no intention to be depended on parents, I am quite worry that I might not survive until the end of this month. I am so afraid that I would be penniless before the month ends. To support self at a very young age (I would say) is a hard thing to do – which I learn as time goes by.
Then, I took the time to have a small devotion – in the focus of ‘My God is a good provider’. Well, I put away the worry and surrendered everything onto the Lord’s hands. I just believe that everything will go well and if I become penniless at the end of the day/month, I know who to look for.
Well, it’s almost at the end of the month, I am glad I still have some savings that can sustain me until the end of the month. Yes, I do eat every single day. I even treated my colleague a drink for her birthday. I am thankful that God has sustained me throughout the month.
Mentally and physically – I was given a task to handle SMM this year. I did not realize what I have got myself into. There’s no clear procedures nor proper hand-over when I was given this task. It’s bad that it took a toil on me. So, I spent my CNY at the school, trying to figure out the way to use the database. The reason why is because the last head of unit told me to explore it by myself, just like she did before. Fine, I got it. She has transferred, so bad news la.
When I explored the system and everything, I realized something, the data has gone. I became panic. I called her if she know if there’s any backup data in the school because her file was empty. She told me to check out the computer in our PK HEM’s office. Okay, I needed to wait until the school reopened the following week.
So, I was glad there’s data in that computer. So, I was happily ‘naikkan’ the classes and everything. So, when I wanted to ‘saring’ class for Form 2 to Form 3, I realized the names in the system was the name list of my Form 5 kids this year. :O THE DATA HAS BEEN OUTDATED FOR 3 YEARS. WHERE IS THE DATA FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS?
I was so disappointed. I had to key in everything by my own. I need to restart. Can you imagine 1+++ students’ info that I have to key in? It took me two weeks to try to finish it. And it still not done. I have to sacrifice my sleep and my UUM’s lesson plans for it. THERE ARE PLENTY OF INFO. I delegated the tasks among the ones under me. How much can we do? The high-rank officer wanted it ASAP. I told my officer about this and we looked for a quick solution. HE EVEN ASKED ME HOW CAN HE ANSWER THE HIGH-RANK OFFICER IF THEY ASK HIM? WHAT? HMM, BECAUSE THERE’S NO PROPER HAND-OVER, SIR? I was disappointed with management. I still am now.
So, I just hold on to my strength and try to register all the students – which I’m glad I did. The best thing is, I did it with a calm soul. And that time, I did not care about anything, I just want to finish it off and go on with life. And you want to know what made me so strong in this situation? My students. My stress all gone when I was in the class. My kids brought joy to me. And I believe it was God’s comfort flowing through them to me. So peaceful.
Want to know what happen to the data? It still can’t be sent through email. You want to know why? The school computer’s OS can’t read the diskette (we are using Windows 7 – even my Windows XP still can’t read it) and Gmail (not even yahoo) did not want to send the file. I tried so many times. All of us have tried. WHO ON EARTH STILL USING DISKETTE IN THIS ERA? TELL ME. YEAH, US. COME ON. MOVE ON, PEOPLE.
But still God’s grace and comfort are with me. I am thankful for that. This too shall pass.
Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Shammah. God will provide, God is there.